Friday, December 3, 2010


Haven't received the letter. Still waiting. I've called her six times in two days, and left 1 message. But, although she gave me her cell phone number, I still have only called her work phone. I may call her cell phone though, since now that I know there's SOMETHING out there, I want to know what it is. Even if it's "there's nothing to tell." At least I will know I have done all I know to do.

I'm washing the gray outta my hair - I'm going to do a temporary wash, first. This weekend, I think. (Cowboy doesn't know yet - he'll either find out this way, or when I walk out of the bathroom with brown/auburn hair). Here's why: when I look at pictures of myself, I feel old. I'm too pretty to look 50-ish. I have too much energy to let my hair belie who I am. At 50, I may go back. At least now I know where it's at, and what it will look like.

Cowboy could care less. He loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, regardless. I DO care. There is an age difference between us, and my hair makes it more of an issue. To me. Not to him. Seriously - he met me with gray, and thought me attractive. This is all about me. Last night, THREE girl friends pointed out MY own comments to me - about my hair and my concerns about how it made me feel when I spoke about when I saw myself. And one said, "You shouldn't spend time worrying about what you CAN take care of. Life's too short, and that energy could be spent focusing on the Lord." And that reminded me of my friend Mike, who said to me (YEARS ago) "Don't complain about what you can change." And, although I'm not complaining,(REALLY), it bothers me.

So, Clairol... here I come. Please be kind.


  1. Go for it and I look forward to pictures.

  2. Girl, you know how much younger then you I am and I've been coloring my hair for about 5 years...GO FOR IT!!!

    I just tried the new Clairol Perfect 10 and REALLY liked the results...didn't have the brassiness that some have. It's rated as one of the best at home hair dyes.

    You ARE beautiful inside and out! hugs!

  3. You go girl. I think the wash out is a good trial. Maybe it will be enough to satisfy.

  4. "i'm too pretty to look 50-ish." i feel that way many days :o)

    don't be discouraged though if you don't love the outcome, grey is very stubborn to cover. so a wash might not totally get it.

    i think experimenting with hair is one of the joys of being a woman! it grows back, it returns to it's natural have fun with it!

  5. My gold star friend!
    You could have purple hair and be a knock out! I can't wait to see how it comes out. You are always beautiful with or without Clairol.
    Post pics! I love you!

  6. Okay, you wanna hear something freaky??? I had a dream last night about YOU COLORING YOUR HAIR.

    For real.

    No idea why... but I did!!! And then I wake up and read this? I'm gonna have to start writing my dreams down. I may be a prophet! ;-)

    I love that you said Cowboy loves you just the way you are... beautiful. And I love that you are gonna take charge of your life and change what you can.

    Still looking forward to hearing about that letter! Love you!

  7. OK Gayla - that is SO CRAZY! You totally SHOULD write down your dreams - who KNOWS what's going on there!

    Especially because I literally decided this after a chat I had on Thursday night with a few friends at a Bible Study - no one else even knew it was swirling around in my head. Heck - I didn't know it was REALLY swirling around in my head until I sat down with the Lord Friday morning and just laid down my fears and my pride, (dare I say?)

    And - I am STILL WAITING for the letter...

  8. You know its kind of funny Sohailah when I saw your pictures I thought yep she got the Sharp gray hair too, its funny how I forget you were adopted because you always have been and always will be my cousin. I've been gray and dyeing my hair since I was 30 if I let it go I would be totally gray and that premature grayness comes from the Sharp side!

    I hope you find the information you seek and know that you are very loved!

  9. Aww Susie, thanks. I really appreciate it. I've always known who my real family is, and have no desire to have another. love to you!